41 Best Sex Toys for Couples, According to Sex Experts in 2023
When it comes to sexual pleasure, there are plenty of sex toy products out there to help you succeed. The best sex toys for couples can really shake things up in the bedroom, so we’ve curated a list of top-notch sex toys for you and your partner to enjoy. We tapped a handful of experts, too, to give us specific products they like and general things to look for when scoping out toys for you and your boo(s). Plus, if you’re on the hunt for a great sexy gift for your partner (or yourself) this Valentine’s Day, a sex toy is always a good call—trust us.
Why use sex toys with a partner?
If your sex life has come to feel monotonous, sex toys can help you conjure more intense versions of sensations you already enjoy, and help yourself feel more closely connected to your partner. There’s a widespread misconception that sex toys are a thing you use before you meet your partner—or something you use for solo play when they’re out of town. But sex toys aren’t just for single folks, Lisa Finn, a sex educator at Babeland, tells SELF.
“Sex toys allow you and your partner (or partners) to bring an exciting sensation that might not be possible with tongues, fingers, and genitals alone,” Finn says, adding that you can think of them as the sprinkles on top of an already delicious sundae.
“Sex toys do things humans cannot,” agrees Epiphora, a blogger who has been reviewing sex toys professionally for over a decade. “Humans don’t vibrate; humans don’t have penises made of stainless steel.” But that also doesn’t mean that toys are a replacement for, or a threat to, human relationships. Even if you use a fancy stand mixer while baking a cake, you’re still the one who baked that cake—and by the same token, the pleasure and fun of using a sex toy with a partner is often more about the partner than the toy.
Toys “can create unique opportunities for pleasure and bonding,” says Rae Chen, a writer who reviews sex toys at The Notice. This may be especially true for people who struggle to feel pleasure or achieve orgasm without toys, whether due to sensitivity issues, erectile dysfunction, a physical disability, or other conditions. It’s “really freeing when you realize [sex] doesn’t have to all be about human-to-human contact—you can bring in tools to help you access pleasure more easily and efficiently,” says Cassandra Corrado, a sex educator for adults.
What should couples look for when shopping for sex toys?
“Ignore all the marketing,” Epiphora warns. “Some toys are specifically labeled ‘for couples,’ but any toy can be for couples.” It’s better to focus on finding toys that fulfill the specific purpose you want them for, whether that be clitoral stimulation during intercourse, app-enabled pleasure for long-distance couples, intense anal sensations, or something else entirely.
“Be willing to have a conversation with each other about what you’re looking for before you walk into a shop,” recommends Bex Caputo, a sex educator and former sex shop manager. Though the world of sex toys can be daunting even if you’re not a beginner, it’s much easier to get what you want if you and your partner are on the same page about the type(s) of sex toys you’re hoping to find and what you’re hoping to use them for.
Corrado recommends doing your research on toy materials (see our tips on buying your first vibrator) because some are better quality than others. Broadly speaking, you should avoid toys that are transparent or translucent as these tend to be made of materials you don’t want inside you, such as jelly or PVC. That type of toy “will be more affordable up front,” Corrado says, “but you’ll have to replace it in the long-term.” Generally, toys made of materials such as silicone, ABS plastic, glass, sealed ceramic, and stainless steel are going to be the easiest to clean, the longest lasting, and the most comfortable to use.
The best sex toys for couples
Below, we dive into what you should know before shopping for sex toys for couples, and we selected top-rated vibrators, vibrating cock rings, leather strap-on harnesses, rechargeable G-spot vibrators, clitoral toys, dildos, and more to try.
All products featured on SELF are independently selected by our editors. However, when you buy something through our retail links, we may earn an affiliate commission.
- 1
Remote-Controlled Vibrators: Lovense Lush 2 App-Controlled Rechargeable Love Egg Vibrator
If you’re in a long-distance relationship, sometimes you can’t physically be together when you want to be intimate, which is where remote-controlled or app-controlled vibrators come in handy. Lovehoney sex expert Ashley Cobb recommends this waterproof vibrator with rumbly vibrations that can be used internally or externally and connects via Bluetooth to an app your partner can control from wherever they are in the world. “It’s enjoyable when you can’t always get to your partner in person and you still want to create intimacy,” says Cobb. “Toys like these are good because your partner is still involved in the sexual experience.”
- Ella Paradis2
Remote-Controlled Vibrators: We-Vibe Melt
For adding that clitoral sucking sensation to penetrative vaginal or anal play (even in missionary position!), Finn recommends a stimulator like the Melt. “Its slim design and easy-to-hold handle allow it to fit better between bodies than other clit suction toys on the market like the Womanizer or Satisfyer,” she says. Plus, it can be controlled via the app remotely.
- Ella Paradis3
Remote-Controlled Vibrators: We-Vibe Moxie
A pen-drive-shaped panty vibrator that clips into your underwear with a magnet, the Moxie is controlled via an app, allowing your partner to control the vibration from 10, 100, or 3,000 miles away. Finn notes that “while there are tons of panty vibrators on the market, the magnet clip-in feature allows you to position the toy exactly where you want—including, if you have a penis, against the nerve-dense tip.” Game changer.
- Amazon4
Remote-Controlled Vibrators: Fifty Shades of Grey Relentless Vibrations Remote Couples Vibrator
Cobb recommends this remote-controlled vibrator because of its versatility and its “upscale” matte black appearance. It can be used externally or internally, as its insertable, flexible arms bend to fit in whatever position you choose. It can also be combined with other toys. “One of our users liked it because they said they used it on a suction dildo and made it into a rabbit setup,” says Cobb. “The possibilities are endless.”
- Babeland5
Clitoral Vibrators: Je Joue Mimi
One of the most popular ways to use a vibrator is for added clitoral stimulation during couples play (or strap-on sex), and a small, handheld vibe like the JeJoue Mimi is ideal for just that. “It’s quite small, fits in the palm of the hand easily, and can slide between bodies and stay there comfortably,” Caputo says.
Chen favors the JeJoue Mimi Soft, a squishier version of the same toy. “Having a bit of squish to a vibrator can deliver a more comfortable experience during partnered intercourse,” they explain. “There’s more room for the toy to be jostled without causing discomfort, which helps keep you in the moment.”
- Jimmyjane6
Clitoral Vibrators: Jimmyjane Form 2
If you’re introducing sex toys into the bedroom for the first time, certified sex coach, educator, and writer Gigi Engle previously recommended trying ones that look less intimidating than hyper-realistic “monster” dildos. JimmyJane’s The Form 2 is perfect for clitoral stimulation, and can be used on any hot spot on the body, really—and perfectly cute too, with its flexible bunny ears that hide pleasure-inducing dual motors. Though it’s small enough to slip into a clutch bag, its four speeds and five levels of intensity leave nothing to be desired.
- Luvoqa7
Clitoral Vibrators: Zumio X
Here’s another uniquely shaped clitoral-focused toy for all kinds of stimulation called The Zumio X, recommended by Emily Morse, doctor of human sexuality, sex educator, relationship expert, and host of Sex With Emily. She notes that it is a great toy for “exploring all your erogenous zones, even ones you didn’t know you had.” Its slender stem has a small tip that rotates in tiny circles (in eight speeds and intensities, no less) to create deliciously precise sensations on the clitoris and beyond. “This makes it perfect for use during penetrative sex because you can add pinpoint stimulation exactly where—and when—you need it most,” she says. She recommends using the Zumio to explore your partner’s body (and let them explore yours) so you find new areas that deserve attention.
- Ella Paradis8
Finger Vibrators: Fifty Shades of Grey Secret Touching Finger Ring Vibrator
This waterproof, temperature-sensitive finger vibrator simply slides onto your finger like a sleeve, making it easy to use. All you need to do with this vibe is what you normally do with your hands—but you'll have the added sensation of vibrations from the silky, smooth silicone device, recommends Jess O'Reilly, PhD, a Toronto-based sex educator.
- Dame9
Finger Vibrators: Dame Fin
Combining precise stimulation with rumbly intensity, finger vibrators are great for both solo sex and couples. This mini finger vibrator from Dame slides right between two of your (or your partner’s) digits, offering a buzzy upgrade to hand or penetrative sex. About the size of a butter packet, it easily fits between two bodies. We love a vibe that doesn’t get in the way of pleasure, but adds to it! “If you prefer the tactile sensation of your partner’s fingers to that of a sex toy, you can position the vibrator on the top side of your fingers, which will turn your finger into a conduit for the vibration,” says Finn.
- Amazon10
Finger Vibrators: Lovelife Rev
If you’re looking for a quiet, powerful toy that won’t attract attention, this “innovative” play on a finger vibrator is for you, says Morse. Created for people with dexterity challenges, it’s effortless to grip and has just one easy-to-read button. She says it can be used for all kinds of sex play: “Foreplay, oral sex, masturbation, and pretty much anywhere you want some good vibes. Slip this over your fingers and start to explore your partner’s body.”
- Babeland11
Wand Vibrators: Magic Wand Rechargeable
Sarah Sloane, a sex educator who’s been coaching sex toy classes at Good Vibrations and Pleasure Chest since 2001, is a big fan of wand vibrators for couples, and she recommends the cult-classic Magic Wand (previously known as the Hitachi Magic Wand). “The joy of this wand is that it has three hours of battery life,” she says. So if you like to take your time in bed, she says, “you don’t have to worry about lasting longer than your toy does.” Fair points out.
- Walmart12
Wand Vibrators: Romp Flip Wand Massager
“Lightweight, flexibility, and versatility are key when incorporating sex toys into partnered play,” says G. Stone, a sex coach and founder of Straight But Not Narrow Ladies tells SELF. That's why she recommends the Romp Flip wand vibrator, a “lightweight, waterproof, affordable option for wand lovers made with body-safe materials with a flexible head.” The rechargeable Flip is smaller than many wand massagers and has six vibration modes and four vibration patterns.
- Glamour13
G-Spot Vibrators: Lelo Ida Wave
For couples already experienced using sex toys, Kate Moyle, a psychosexual therapist and host of the Sexual Wellness Sessions podcast recommends this Lelo toy because it creates a more intense feeling. “It can be worn by the partner [with a vulva] and lets them share the vibrations with their partner,” Moyle says. Because of the way the vibrator is curved, if inserted, it touches their G-spot and moves against the penis-having partner too, rotating to create a powerful sense of movement within both bodies.
- Unbound14
G-spot Vibrators: Unbound Bender
For a combination of external and internal stimulation, Engle recommends the flexible Bender vibrator. She likes that you can actually curve its “slim, straight, minimalist shape” to touch both the clitoris and the G-spot (or just one or the other).
- Babeland15
G-spot Vibrators: Calexotics Hype Flexi-Wand
If you haven’t tried a bendable sex toy, you’re missing out. “Unlike most other vibrators, this toy bends, which allows you to customize it to fit your needs and wants,” says Finn. Want to explore G-spot or P-spot (prostate) stimulation? Angle the shaft so the bulbous tip can hit the spot. Want to show the almighty clitoris some affection? Keep the toy flat and slip it between your legs. “Its versatility is what makes it an especially great option for a first couples vibrator,” she says.
- Amazon16
Harnesses: SpareParts Hardwear Joque Harness
Wearing a harness with a pocket for a bullet vibrator is another way to add vibration. Finn’s number-one harness recommendation is the Joque—for a number of reasons. “It is a strap-style harness, which means it can be adjusted to accommodate a wide variety of body shapes and sizes,” she says. And it’s machine-washable, so afterward you can simply pop it in the laundry basket for easy clean-up.
- Amazon17
Harnesses: SpareParts Hardwear Deuce Harness
The Deuce features all the same perks as the Joque: vibrator pocket, machine-washable, and adjustable. But it has two (two!) holes instead of just one. “It’s a great option for folks with flesh cocks who want to experiment with double penetration with their partners,” says Finn. It also allows those with erectile dysfunction to penetrate their partners hands-free.
- Lovehoney18
Harnesses: Tantus Intermediate Strap-On Harness Kit
This kit features an adjustable harness, two dildos (one that’s 6.5 inches, another that’s 5), and a powerful bullet vibe for pegging and strap-on sex. “The dildos are made of firm silicone so they transmit the vibration really well to the receiver,” says Sloane.
- Babeland19
Bullet Vibrators: Le Wand Bullet
Now that you’ve (maybe) got your harness with a bullet vibrator pouch, you need the vibrator. Bullet vibrators are tiny and discreet in appearance but powerful in delivery. Finn recommends the Le Wand Bullet Vibrator. No bigger than a thumb, “it’s the right size to fit into most harnesses,” she says, including the Joque and Deuce. Equipped with 15 different intensity and vibrator modes, it features a much broader range of intensities compared to some bullet vibes, which only have one or two buzzy settings. “It also comes with two silicone sleeves that you can slide over the toy if you enjoy texture against your bits,” she says.
- Amazon20
Bullet Vibrators: Unbound Zip Vibe
If you’re on a budget—or want to make sure you enjoy using a couples vibrator before dropping a load of cash—fear not! “Nowadays you really don’t need to spend a lot of money to get a solid vibrator,” Sloane says. And that’s where the Unbound Zip comes in. For just $20, this small, battery-operated bullet offers precise stimulation, fits in a harness, and is a perfect option for a budget-friendly couple's sex toy.
- Spectrum Boutique21
Bullet Vibrators: Crave Vesper
Designed to look like an elegant necklace, this rechargeable vibrator is slim, versatile, and discreet. Its stainless steel exterior warms to your body temperature and feels ultra-smooth against your skin. It’s also quite quiet, making it ideal for surreptitious public play. “Wearing a vibrator necklace really lends itself well to having a quickie while you’re out,” Corrado says, “or getting off together in the car while you’re traveling.”
- Babeland22
Cock Rings: We-Vibe Pivot
Sloane tells SELF that vibrating cock rings are a great option for couples who love penetrative vaginal sex with penises or dildos. “Vibrating cock rings make a biological penis even firmer, while adding hands-free vibration that everyone can enjoy,” she says. She especially likes the Pivot because “it features a wide range of deep, rumbly vibrations.”
- Lelo23
Cock Rings: Lelo Tor 2
- Amazon24
Cock Rings: Romp Juke Vibrating Penis Ring
“The Romp Juke is designed as a C-ring (and it rocks in that capacity of course), but it’s also great as a finger vibrator,” says Dr. O'Reilly of the flexible, waterproof sex toy. “Just slide your fingers through the loop and play across the body while experimenting with its 10 functions to find what works for you.”
- Amazon25
Cock Rings: Nu Sensuelle Remote-Controlled Bullet Ring
Another cock ring option for couples who are new to exploring sex toys and seeking more versatility from their toys is this bullet ring option. “Cock rings now come with vibrating functions, clitorial stimulators, and even double up as a pocket-sized toy for travel," Malika O'Neill, CEO of The Pleasure Collective, LLC tells SELF. "Couples can use this on a penis or even in jelly form to grip the shaft of a strap-on dildo." Nicely, this rechargeable cock ring comes with a studded ring and studded sleeve for extra stimulation, as well as 15 vibration patterns that can be controlled via remote control.
- Ella Paradis26
Penis Sleeves: Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo
Pulsating penis sleeves like this one come highly recommended by Corrado—especially for duos where one or both partners has limited mobility or dexterity. Shaped like a taco shell, the Pulse Duo wraps around a penis to deliver stimulation. It can be used to deliver a hand-free finish or as a masturbation sleeve. “You or your partner can grip the toy and use it to stroke up and down the shaft,” Corrado explains.
- Le Wand27
Penis Sleeves: Le Wand Loop Silicone Attachment
Add the Le Wand Loop to your shopping cart right alongside your wand vibe, suggests Carly S, founder of Dildo or Dildon’t. A soft silicone masturbation sleeve that attaches to the head of the wand, “the Loop allows you to deliver broad rumbly vibration up and down the shaft, making it great for mutual masturbation and manual play,” she says.
- Good Vibrations28
Dildos: Vixen Creations Mustang
Whether you plan on using it in a harness or just “freehand,” this ultra-realistic dildo is sure to be a hit. It’s made of dual-density silicone, meaning that it has a squishy exterior and a firmer core, kinda like a real penis. Epiphora and Chen agree that this toy’s softness makes it particularly well-suited to strap-on since it can help cushion any inadvertently overzealous ramming while you’re getting used to your new equipment. “Anybody can use a strap-on,” Corrado adds. “It’s not something that’s exclusive to lesbians or bisexual women.”
- Babeland29
Dildos: Fun Factory ShareVibe
Also known as a “strapless strap-on,” the Fun Factory Share allows the person doing the penetrating during strap-on play and pegging to be penetrated too, explains Finn. The wearer inserts the shorter arm into their vagina or anus, and then uses their pelvic floor muscles to hold onto the device while thrusting into their partner. Hello, feeling of fullness.
Oh, and this option vibrates. “The vibrations are strong and rumbly, and travel down both arms of the dildo to stimulate the wearer and receiver,” according to Sloane. But if you’d rather go without the vibrating feature, you can downgrade to the vibration-free version that comes in at $115.
- Amazon30
Dildos: Adorime Double-Ended G-Spot Dildo Vibrator
Talk about two for the price of one: a double-sided dildo. Equipped with a double vibrator that has independent motors joined by a flexible silicone cord, this sex toy is great for multiple positions. O'Neill calls the double-sided dildo a “dynamic sex toy for couples that can be used amongst all genders" and says she finds in her work that "couples enjoy pleasing each other at the same time to share a more intimate climax.” The USB-rechargeable Adorime in particular has seven different vibration modes, which are adjustable via remote control. And its waterproof design makes it usable in the shower.
- Babeland31
Anal Toys: b-Vibe Rimming Plug
For anal stimulation during sex, consider a vibrating rimming plug like this one. Carly S. explains the appeal of this anal vibrator thusly: “Many people say the sensation simulates analingus while also providing a feeling of anal fullness.” You can wear the vibrating plug while receiving oral, while giving oral, or while having penetrative sex.
The speed at which the b-Vibe plug rotates can be controlled via a remote. “Give the remote to your partner and let them pick the setting,” she suggests. Just don’t forget: The anus isn’t self-lubricating, so you’ll also need an anal lube. Carly S. recommends Sliquid Sassy or Sliquid Satin anal lubes.
- Babeland32
Anal Toys: b-Vibe Cinco Anal Beads
Anal beads are another, more dynamic alternative to butt plugs, says Sloane, since they go in and stay in. “Anal beads are designed to be inserted and removed to increase the stimulation to nerves around the anal sphincter.” Enter Cinco, a luxe string of silicone anal beads that vibrate, making that sensation much more intense. (Remember: Silicone-based lubes degrade silicone toys, so you’ll want a water-based lube while using these.)
- Amazon33
Anal Toys: Bump Plus Remote Vibrating Anal Plug
Here's a remote-controlled butt plug that was previously recommended by Marla Renee Stewart, MA, sexologist for Lovers. Use it as a fun form of foreplay, or wear it during vaginal or oral sex for added pleasure. It has 10 vibration settings and it's waterproof, too.
- Lovehoney34
Sex Accessories: Bondage Boutique Deluxe Fetish Sex Swing
If you're looking to get imaginative with your sex positions, O'Neill highly recommends investing in a sex swing: “If a couple wants to live out a fantasy and try all the positions that may be challenging to do laying down, I promise they'll be more manageable and fulfilling using a sex swing—especially one that's 360 degrees.” The swing (which is made from industrial-grade steel and has reinforced body straps and foot stirrups) hangs from your ceiling and makes all manner of play accessible.
- Jimmyjane35
Sex Accessories: SELF + JimmyJane Bondage Tape
- OhNut36
Sex Accessories: OhNut (Set of 4)
We admit: The OhNut is not exactly a sex toy; it’s more of a pleasure enhancer. “It’s a sex device any couple that has someone who finds vaginal or anal penetrative sex painful or uncomfortable needs to know about,” says Sloane. Made up of stackable modular rings, the OhNut slides over the base of a penis, dildo, vibrator, or vibrating wearable dildo to limit how deep it can go.
She adds that in addition to reducing depth during penetration, the device can also provide clitoral stimulation in missionary and rider-on-top. Double the fun.
- Amazon37
Sex Accessories: Sportsheets Under the Bed Restraint System
This handy product consists of two wrist cuffs and two ankle cuffs, attached to long straps which you can slide underneath your mattress. The weight of the mattress will hold you in place as you struggle against the cuffs, creating that delicious pinned-down feeling that many people enjoy about bondage, but without the need for elaborate rope-tying know-how. “This set is a good way to explore bondage easily and quickly,” Caputo says, “without having to learn a ton of new skills or do a ton of setup, so you can see what it’s like to play with your partner while they’re immobilized.”
- Lovehoney38
Sex Accessories: Basic Satin Blindfold
Other accessories that can heighten the mood can involve sensory deprivation. This simple pleasure product is one of the best ways to explore your kinky side, Carly S. tells SELF. “When you take away one sense, all other senses get heightened,” she says. “Even if the only thing your partner is doing is brushing your arm—because you can’t see it coming, it’s that much more erotic.” Do you actually need to invest in a special blindfold? Nope. A tube sock, tie, or sleep mask will do the trick. But “some people enjoy having an item specifically designated to sexy play,” she says.
- Amazon39
Sex Accessories: Liberator Wedge
And for basic maneuvering and comfort, no matter what position you choose, Carly S. recommends this foam positioning pillow. “Sex wedges help you get comfortable so you can experience more pleasure without doing more work,” she says. She suggests using a sex pillow during missionary with an external vibrator. “The incline of the ramp increases the likelihood your partner will hit your G-spot while the vibrator pleasures your clit.”
- Jimmyjane40
Sex Accessories: Self + JimmyJane Massage Oil Candle
ICYMI: We did a product collab with pleasure brand JimmyJane, and the results are safe, fun, and sexy. During your next romp with your partner, try using massage as a form of foreplay. This sensual massage oil candle is great for sensation play, and it comes in a variety of scents.
- Nomorewetspot41
Sex Accessories: Nomorewetspot Waterproof Fleece Blanket
Ever heard of a sex blanket? It might just save you from a load of postcoital laundry, which nobody wants to do. Lovehoney sex expert Dr. Megan Fleming previously recommended this mini sex blanket from NoMoreWetSpot, which is made with a thin, waterproof, cool-dry fleece. It's packable for traveling, and it's great for folks who don't make too much of a mess during sex.
SELF does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional.
